As of this month, Moonfruit have stopped free accounts from being a thing. Which means that the final glimmer of pre-2009 NAL (short of delving into The Internet Archive at least) is now done and dusted – my website from between 2006 and 2008 was with Moonfruit, was free, and had been dormant and available since 2008.

I still have access to the website for now, it’s just not live unless I pay them. I’m not paying them.

But here are some joyful, memorable quotes of a version of me perhaps less mature or perhaps just immature on a different plane.

“Some stuff about me…
I like PS3.
I don’t mind Wii.
I don’t like Xbox 360.”

Aah, a more innocent time when I couldn’t just buy all three of the bastards and laugh maniacally like the responsible, financially sensible adult I am now. Also a time before Yahtzee Croshaw, be it accidentally or purposefully, infected the world with “PC Master Race”, a group of people that somehow managed to out-sad excessive console fanboys.

I only disliked Xbox 360 at the time because my friend spent the year and a half between his getting his 360 and me getting my PS3 not shutting the fuck up about it. It’s a fine console now I have one, although it’s probably still my least favourite thanks to how badly it ages – mine is an original unit, and having the 20GB hard drive, the antiquated component cables for HD and the addon to enable Wi-Fi is irritating. Wii gets away with its stupid foibles because most of its content was unique to it. And MadWorld rocked.

“I hate using text speak.
I hate seeing wronged punctuation.”

#teenagegrammarnazi

“I think Bill Gates is a moron.
I think the same of Richard Branson.
I think Kate Moss is hideous.”

#teenageedgelord

“My favourite actor is Jack Black.
My least favourite is Andie MacDowell.”

Fair play on Jack Black, might not put him in first any more but I do still enjoy me a silly comedy film. No idea on the latter choice, I’ve never seen a film with her in. I think she might have been overexposed in adverts at the time, so that might have been it. Not sure who I’d pick now. Probably Jim Carrey for favourite and Adam Sandler for least.

“I am 50% English and 50% Scottish.
I created the alias of NAL when I was six.
I like amusing facts.”

Fair play, unlikely to change.

“I hate console fanboyism.”

A smidge hypocritical given the statement at the top. Dumbass self.

“I like cutesy platforming games.
I’m not a fan of violent games (excluding Grand Theft Auto and Elder Scrolls games).”

The former’s still very much true (and 2008 me would have been disappointed by the landscape of that genre for like six solid years), but because of that bracketed disappointment, the latter changed. MadWorld, Mad Max, Fallout 4, Mortal Kombat X and many more have been games since 2008 I’ve fallen in love with, all of which are pretty damn violent. And that’s the tip of the iceberg.

“I’m a flange fan.”

#teenagerandom

“The shortest time taken to make a game is 24 minutes, with Floccinaucinihilipilification.
The longest is Gamanstake: started in February 2006, ended in July 2006. (it wasn’t constant working though…)”

Both beaten since – 10*2 took me 20 minutes, and Innoquous 5 was on and off for three years.

“The game getting the best public reception is r!!!dicule.
The game getting the worst is The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.”

I’m struggling to imagine this world. The Boy in the Plastic Bubble was shit, but it was better than r!!!dicule. And in 2008, r!!!dicule was easily surpassed by games I made after it – Elemence AuX and Rockit for two. Maybe I wrote this the day after r!!!dicule came out and never updated it – then I can pretend all this embarrassing crap was 9 years ago, not just 8!

“The only games ever to have had real inspiration for their creation are Up Shint Creek and Blokkeid (which later became Elemence).”

Yep nope! Ne Touchez Pas was inspired by Flywrench by Messhof, Innoquous by every GM game before it that had done gravity flipping gimmicks but all in really gammy, nasty ways, ExecutioNAL and TimeStop were PARODIES… the list continues!

“I have also won the following things:- a brick game, £50, a yoyo, £1,000, £500, a £10 gift voucher. Furthermore, in a game of hoopla at a féte once, I won every prize on display in ONE GO.”

Sudden recall of that last one! Can still remember the pissed off look on the vendor’s face when I essentially shut their stall down in one go. Hoopla champion!

“Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny is an absolutely fab film, and you must watch it.”

My opinion on the above hasn’t even remotely changed. LONG-ASS FUCKIN’ TIME AGO IN A TOWN CALLED KICKAPOO, THERE LIVED A HUMBLE FAMILY RELIGIOUS THR… whelp now I have to watch it again

“The worst three films I have EVER seen are:
3rd worst: Kung Pow
2nd worst: Dude! Where’s My Car?
WORST!!!: Picking Up The Pieces”

Sadly no longer true. I’ve now seen Movie 43 and inAPPropriate Comedy.

But now we’re into the top 10s!

“THE TOP 10 SONGS OF MINE OF CURRENT
1. Dario G – Sunchyme
2. Toto – Africa
3. Royksopp – Remind Me
4. Groove Armada – At The River
5. Alannah Myles – Black Velvet
6. Harvey Danger – Flagpole Sitta
7. Moby – Porcelain
8. Fischerspooner – Never Win
9. Lo Fidelity Allstars – LoFi’s In Ibiza
10. Frankie Fame – See Through You

Not a vast amount of changes, and an adequate amount of appreciation for the stunning Grand Theft Auto III original soundtrack too. I now cite my absolute favourite tune as Röyksopp – Eple (if that means nothing to you, listen to it – you’ll probably recognise it) because it’s the rare track I find it physically impossible to get sick of. So I’d definitely swap Remind Me for Eple on that list. Fischerspooner remains a firm favourite, but I’d pick Emerge now. And I’d swap a few of the tracks for other ones – Black Velvet, Lo-Fi’s In Ibiza, Africa, See Through You and Flagpole Sitta would be out and some stuff like His Majesty King Raam, Me And You, Unfinished Sympathy, Atlas and Eve of the War would be in.

“My Top Ten Current Favourite Films
1. Sin City
2. The Warriors
3. Pleasantville
4. Phonebooth
5. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
6. The Green Mile
7. Road Trip
8. The Truman Show
9. Robots
10. Hot Fuzz”

Not many changes here either! Pleasantville’s jumped to #1, Phonebooth wouldn’t be on the top 10 and Robots DEFINITELY wouldn’t be on the top 10 (what I ever saw in that film, I don’t know – it’s watchable, but nothing compared to a half-decent Pixar flick). I’d also probably demote The Green Mile, and shuffle Road Trip down – it would still be in my top 10 but probably only just. I’d then let Fight Club, 21 Jump Street, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, WALL-E, Inside Out, Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny, Pulp Fiction, Scott Pilgrim vs The World and The World’s End duke it out for the remaining spaces (The World’s End perhaps knocking Hot Fuzz off the list).

“The Blackadder Order Of Brilliancy (best to worst)
1. Series 3
2. Series 4
3. Blackadder’s Christmas Carol
4. Series 2
5. Back & Forth
6. The Cavalier Years
7. Series 1”

Even something I wouldn’t expect to have an opinion on, I still have! Series 2 should be above Christmas Carol, and Series 1 should be above The Cavalier Years and Back & Forth.

“My Top 10 Ever Albums
1. Moby: Play
2. Keane: Hopes And Fears
3. Scissor Sisters: Scissor Sisters
4. Groove Armada: Vertigo
5. Moby: 18
6. Kaiser Chiefs: Yours Truly, Angry Mob
7. Fatboy Slim: Palookaville
8. MIKA: Life In Cartoon Motion
9. Dido: Life For Rent
10. Fischerspooner: Odyssey”

Yeah, this is all wrong now. A vague mockup of my list now would be:

1. Röyksopp: Melody AM
2. Massive Attack: Mezzanine
3. Röyksopp: The Inevitable End
4. Lemon Jelly: lemonjelly.ky
5. Fischerspooner: #1
6. Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds
7. The Fratellis: Costello Music
8. Battles: Mirrored
9. Mike Oldfield: Tubular Bells
10. Nero: Welcome Reality

Anyway, it’s about high time I allow that era of my past to disappear now. Bless it, it was so silly, but it was fun to reminisce.

…BUT YEA THERE WAS A BLACK SHEEP, AND HE KNEW JUST WHAT TO DO
HIS NAME WAS YOUNG JB AND HE REFUSED TO STEP IN LINE
A VISION HE DID SEE OF FUCKING ROCKING ALL THE TIME
HE WROTE A TASTY JAM AND ALL THE PLANETS DID ALIGN…

dah dah dahhhhhh

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