Walking Down the Woods One Day

Actual date unknown, likely around 2004-2006. I do remember my mum printing it out and sticking it next to the family pantry though, and this house hasn’t had a pantry in a long, long time.

Walking down the woods one day
Something caught my eye
Something not that far away
Something that could fly

In my brain I wonder, no,
THINK what it might be
So I wander up to it
Interestedly

On I stroll, it's got some hair
Of the colour grey
Little creature over there
Please don't fly away

Then I notice - how absurd!
Blood around its head!
Wait a sec, it's just a bird...
And it's f**king dead.

Letter Bomb

I can still recite this poem off by heart nearly 15 years on (at time of writing this). I know it’s short, but still.

What is in this envelope?
Not another bill, I hope.
Then I feel a sense of doom,
Followed by a killer BOOM.

Fort

Brickwork steady, crossbows ready,
Time for the attack.
There is not in our nice fort
Defences that we lack.
Over marshes, our foe marches
With his foreign army
Any more try burn our door
And I shall be sent barmy.

Losses

The war is a bad thing, I want it to stop
Before I myself must go over the top
It makes all of our soldiers injured or deaf
What have I done to be sentenced to death?

Wake Up Call

All for one and one for all
Words I speak to short and tall
It’s just a dream, I punch a wall
And I await my wake up call.