Ne Touchez Pas

Forbidden Moonfruit by Allison James

As of this month, Moonfruit have stopped free accounts from being a thing. Which means that the final glimmer of pre-2009 NAL (short of delving into The Internet Archive at least) is now done and dusted - my website from between 2006 and 2008 was with Moonfruit, was free, and had been dormant and available since 2008.I still have access to the website for now, it's just not live unless I pay them. I'm not paying them.But here are some joyful, memorable quotes of a version of me perhaps less mature or perhaps just immature on a different plane."Some stuff about me...I like PS3.I don't mind Wii.I don't like Xbox 360."Aah, a more innocent time when I couldn't just buy all three of the bastards and laugh maniacally like the responsible, financially sensible adult I am now. Also a time before Yahtzee Croshaw, be it accidentally or purposefully, infected the world with "PC Master Race", a group of people that somehow managed to out-sad excessive console fanboys.I only disliked Xbox 360 at the time because my friend spent the year and a half between his getting his 360 and me getting my PS3 not shutting the fuck up about it. It's a fine console now I have one, although it's probably still my least favourite thanks to how badly it ages - mine is an original unit, and having the 20GB hard drive, the antiquated component cables for HD and the addon to enable Wi-Fi is irritating. Wii gets away with its stupid foibles because most of its content was unique to it. And MadWorld rocked."I hate using text speak.I hate seeing wronged punctuation."#teenagegrammarnazi"I think Bill Gates is a moron.I think the same of Richard Branson.I think Kate Moss is hideous."#teenageedgelord"My favourite actor is Jack Black.My least favourite is Andie MacDowell."Fair play on Jack Black, might not put him in first any more but I do still enjoy me a silly comedy film. No idea on the latter choice, I've never seen a film with her in. I think she might have been overexposed in adverts at the time, so that might have been it. Not sure who I'd pick now. Probably Jim Carrey for favourite and Adam Sandler for least."I am 50% English and 50% Scottish.I created the alias of NAL when I was six.I like amusing facts."Fair play, unlikely to change."I hate console fanboyism."A smidge hypocritical given the statement at the top. Dumbass self."I like cutesy platforming games.I'm not a fan of violent games (excluding Grand Theft Auto and Elder Scrolls games)."The former's still very much true (and 2008 me would have been disappointed by the landscape of that genre for like six solid years), but because of that bracketed disappointment, the latter changed. MadWorld, Mad Max, Fallout 4, Mortal Kombat X and many more have been games since 2008 I've fallen in love with, all of which are pretty damn violent. And that's the tip of the iceberg."I'm a flange fan."#teenagerandom"The shortest time taken to make a game is 24 minutes, with Floccinaucinihilipilification.The longest is Gamanstake: started in February 2006, ended in July 2006. (it wasn't constant working though...)"Both beaten since - 10*2 took me 20 minutes, and Innoquous 5 was on and off for three years."The game getting the best public reception is r!!!dicule.The game getting the worst is The Boy in the Plastic Bubble."I'm struggling to imagine this world. The Boy in the Plastic Bubble was shit, but it was better than r!!!dicule. And in 2008, r!!!dicule was easily surpassed by games I made after it - Elemence AuX and Rockit for two. Maybe I wrote this the day after r!!!dicule came out and never updated it - then I can pretend all this embarrassing crap was 9 years ago, not just 8!"The only games ever to have had real inspiration for their creation are Up Shint Creek and Blokkeid (which later became Elemence)."Yep nope! Ne Touchez Pas was inspired by Flywrench by Messhof, Innoquous by every GM game before it that had done gravity flipping gimmicks but all in really gammy, nasty ways, ExecutioNAL and TimeStop were PARODIES... the list continues!"I have also won the following things:- a brick game, £50, a yoyo, £1,000, £500, a £10 gift voucher. Furthermore, in a game of hoopla at a féte once, I won every prize on display in ONE GO."Sudden recall of that last one! Can still remember the pissed off look on the vendor's face when I essentially shut their stall down in one go. Hoopla champion!"Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny is an absolutely fab film, and you must watch it."My opinion on the above hasn't even remotely changed. LONG-ASS FUCKIN' TIME AGO IN A TOWN CALLED KICKAPOO, THERE LIVED A HUMBLE FAMILY RELIGIOUS THR... whelp now I have to watch it again"The worst three films I have EVER seen are:3rd worst: Kung Pow2nd worst: Dude! Where's My Car?WORST!!!: Picking Up The Pieces"Sadly no longer true. I've now seen Movie 43 and inAPPropriate Comedy.But now we're into the top 10s!"THE TOP 10 SONGS OF MINE OF CURRENT1. Dario G - Sunchyme2. Toto - Africa3. Royksopp - Remind Me4. Groove Armada - At The River5. Alannah Myles - Black Velvet6. Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta7. Moby - Porcelain8. Fischerspooner - Never Win9. Lo Fidelity Allstars - LoFi's In Ibiza10. Frankie Fame - See Through You"Not a vast amount of changes, and an adequate amount of appreciation for the stunning Grand Theft Auto III original soundtrack too. I now cite my absolute favourite tune as Röyksopp - Eple (if that means nothing to you, listen to it - you'll probably recognise it) because it's the rare track I find it physically impossible to get sick of. So I'd definitely swap Remind Me for Eple on that list. Fischerspooner remains a firm favourite, but I'd pick Emerge now. And I'd swap a few of the tracks for other ones - Black Velvet, Lo-Fi's In Ibiza, Africa, See Through You and Flagpole Sitta would be out and some stuff like His Majesty King Raam, Me And You, Unfinished Sympathy, Atlas and Eve of the War would be in."My Top Ten Current Favourite Films1. Sin City2. The Warriors3. Pleasantville4. Phonebooth5. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind6. The Green Mile7. Road Trip8. The Truman Show9. Robots10. Hot Fuzz"Not many changes here either! Pleasantville's jumped to #1, Phonebooth wouldn't be on the top 10 and Robots DEFINITELY wouldn't be on the top 10 (what I ever saw in that film, I don't know - it's watchable, but nothing compared to a half-decent Pixar flick). I'd also probably demote The Green Mile, and shuffle Road Trip down - it would still be in my top 10 but probably only just. I'd then let Fight Club, 21 Jump Street, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, WALL-E, Inside Out, Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny, Pulp Fiction, Scott Pilgrim vs The World and The World's End duke it out for the remaining spaces (The World's End perhaps knocking Hot Fuzz off the list)."The Blackadder Order Of Brilliancy (best to worst)1. Series 32. Series 43. Blackadder's Christmas Carol4. Series 25. Back & Forth6. The Cavalier Years7. Series 1"Even something I wouldn't expect to have an opinion on, I still have! Series 2 should be above Christmas Carol, and Series 1 should be above The Cavalier Years and Back & Forth."My Top 10 Ever Albums1. Moby: Play2. Keane: Hopes And Fears3. Scissor Sisters: Scissor Sisters4. Groove Armada: Vertigo5. Moby: 186. Kaiser Chiefs: Yours Truly, Angry Mob7. Fatboy Slim: Palookaville8. MIKA: Life In Cartoon Motion9. Dido: Life For Rent10. Fischerspooner: Odyssey"Yeah, this is all wrong now. A vague mockup of my list now would be:1. Röyksopp: Melody AM2. Massive Attack: Mezzanine3. Röyksopp: The Inevitable End4. Lemon Jelly: lemonjelly.ky5. Fischerspooner: #16. Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds7. The Fratellis: Costello Music8. Battles: Mirrored9. Mike Oldfield: Tubular Bells10. Nero: Welcome RealityAnyway, it's about high time I allow that era of my past to disappear now. Bless it, it was so silly, but it was fun to reminisce....BUT YEA THERE WAS A BLACK SHEEP, AND HE KNEW JUST WHAT TO DOHIS NAME WAS YOUNG JB AND HE REFUSED TO STEP IN LINEA VISION HE DID SEE OF FUCKING ROCKING ALL THE TIMEHE WROTE A TASTY JAM AND ALL THE PLANETS DID ALIGN...dah dah dahhhhhh

Why That Name? by Allison James

For this blog entry I'm going to be going through why I gave the names to games I've made. It's here instead of NALGames Blog as it's more a point of interest. It also means I have a way of remembering these things in the future.Fight of the Height (2005)Oldest game on the list, Fight of the Height was a game I conceptualised when I was six (I always wanted to be a game developer!). It was named so because the original idea was to have the game take place on a series of skyscrapers that you jumped over the roofs of, shooting at your opponent. It changed a little for the games themselves though I did keep that idea for one or two levels.Gamanstake (2006)Stuck for an original name for a generic maze game, and with the promise of gammon steaks for tea, I took "Gammon Stake" and played with the spelling.Blokkeid (2006)The precursor to Elemence got its name as the gimmick of the game involves using BLOCKS as AID to complete levels.Elemence (2006-7)I wanted to keep the Blokkeid name for the game that was Elemence, but since there were multiple game modes it was irrelevant. So instead I came up with "Elements", then tampered with it for originality. After the unreleased sequels named after their difficulties (Elemence Easy, Elemence Refined), Gold got its name as it became a portmanteau of all the previous, making it a kind of compilation game. Then AuX is because Au is the chemical symbol for Gold, with the traditional X for "woo, awzum!".r!!!dicule (2007)The third in the r!dicule series, it was named after I was trying to think of a name for a premise and came to the conclusion that trying to name it was ridiculous.FKR (2007)Stands for "Fantastic Kinetic Reflexes", however that is technically a backronym. When trying to work out a name, I just went "...F**ker!", and decided to alter it to familyfriendlydom. Nowadays though I only ever read it as "Eff Kay Arrrrrgh!"Fustercluck (2007)Fustercluck was named after the song playing in the background - simples. Only later did I find out what Fustercluck means, though!Rockit (2008)A rocket simulator, but with a reference to the Herbie Hancock track I was thoroughly into at the time.Mingitilla (2008)No idea.Zyousbox (2008)An altered spelling of "Juicebox" with the J sound softened.Signal Failure (2008)At the time I was addicted to GTAIV (for the first of three times, the third still currently ongoing) and one of my favourite tracks on it was Padded Cell - Signal Failure.Ne Touchez Pas! (2008)"Do Not Touch" just didn't have the same ring to it.Innoquous (2008)Another song-based one, though the game was based around it. I liked LCD Soundsystem's "Get Innocuous!" at the time. The game was also initially innocuous in that there were no direct obstacles. Changed the C to a Q because to be honest I thought it looked better - it's still pronounced "in-ock-you-us" though, not "in-ock-wuss".EverScrollingHue (2008)Initially "Enzyme", ESH made more sense named as such because the in-game hues were indeed ever-scrolling.Node (2009)My first release of 2009, and not a very good one at that, was named so simply because the graphics were inspired by "nodes and links".Dreaming on E (2009)Made partly through 2008, Dreaming on E was inspired by the phenomena of odd dreams while on drugs. Yes, the E indicates "ecstasy". No, I've never done E. Yes, I read about drug-fueled dreams while making DoE to base stuff off it.MINDRAPE (2009)I initially heard the term in an episode of "American Dad!" and loved it. Therefore I kept using it, and based a game on the idea.Infidels (2009)From the song "Infidels of the World Unite", an amazing track by one of my all-time favourite artists, Fischerspooner. Initially called Infidel as you played the infidel, it changed when I reversed the story and so there was more than one.Head Candy (2009)Another term similar to MINDRAPE, I liked the idea of "Head Candy" and had seen it elsewhere.The Hilarity of Murder (2009)Initially Lite Town Wars - made in GM7 Lite, set in a town, depicting a war. Changed when I added a gimmick to make it fit a Game Jolt competition - it just made sense and rolls off the tongue nicely.It Only Takes a Second (2009)Another one that rolls off the tongue, and a fairly smart-arse title given the game's premise (you have to finish each level with one second left on the timer).RKF (2009)FKR backwards. Once again, I came up with a backronym to make it mean something else.madnessMADNESSmadness (2009)Made up in Game Jolt's chatroom, I described this as "how somebody suffering from madness may describe what they were suffering from". The idea is that they might say "madness" three times in quick succession, shouting the second one. The game is depicting a guy that is suffering from madness - hence the odd circular world, the unexplained walls and things, and the confusing poetry.This is a Game with a Stupid Graphical Gimmick (2009)I just felt like being blunt!La Rolloux (2009)Originally "Wolley", the name of the guy in-game and "Yellow" backwards, changed to La Rolloux as a portmanteau of "Roll", and the artist I loved at the time, "La Roux". Coincidentally, the guy's quiff was in the game beforehand - it took someone else for me to realise how close it looked to the hairstyle of La Roux's Ellie Jackson.1n23g4r (2010)First release of 2010 was another smartass one - pronounced "integer", the game sees you counting moves up from 1 to 2 to 3 to 4 steps a go. They're all integers too.SohoPogoHo (2010)A pogoing ho from Soho. Sorted.Acid R[ai/eig]n (2010)Two meanings of the same-sounding phrase. It contains acid rain, and the acid reigns.Remaddening (2010)The sequel to mMm, unlike previous sequels, took an entirely different name. Why? Well, mMm had a convoluted name anyway, I wanted to shorten it. So I went in the style of many film sequels, which are like "Generic Action Film: The Redestroying". Stupid stuff like that. It very nearly took a The at the start but I just preferred Remaddening on its own.Confusion Readily Achieved... (2010)Yeah, another kind of backronym. However, it was just steered towards it this time. It was initially something like "Confusion Achieved Through Perspective and Dimensions".Infinite Sporadic (2010)I always liked the phrase "Endless, sporadic" so I went for something similar.They're the most interesting ones I can recall, anyway. Hopefully this has been an interesting little insight into my mind. Will be sure to blog again ASAP.See y'all! (and that's from Dog's Life on PS2)