Hap's Hazards

Hap's Hazards is an appalling pile of arsewash in which you, an unnamed female protagonist, must navigate a series of labyrinthine rooms underground in a vague attempt to find the exit of the cave.

See all of your decisions bare fruit as you logically deduce exactly how stupid you feel for spending any time whatsoever playing this absolute nonsense.

Look for the four buttons of "I hue shifted them in 8 seconds" which will allow you to escape when you find the screen.

Avoid five death screens that will rerandomise the entire cave and send you back to the start because nuanced gameplay is for children.

Let me know if you find John Cena hiding in the caves. He's in there somewhere. (Actually, don't let me know).

Yes, the game is winnable. No, you shouldn't try to. The win screen will only make you feel worse.

You know you don't want to.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Halcyonic Falcon X
Fonts: Allison James (Japers)

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Reviews

“That was... honestly, I would call it bizarre more than bad. Presentation is nice, and it has a surreal, slightly nihilistic feel overall.” - XCVG
”I found a bunch of weird men on the way” - Adrien Dittrick

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Quickly! Dispensegifts

SORRY FOR KILL.
QUICKLY! BIGSORRY. GIFT RECEIVE?

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Bebas Neue

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Reviews

“edgy” - your mum

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Quickly! Makebones

MAKE ENEMIES FALL APART
CONSUME DELICIOUSBONES

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Bebas Neue

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Reviews

“Looking at my monitor now makes it look like it's constantly rotating. I regret nothing.” - baku
”Very creative idea, polished graphics, and fantastic music.” - Ethan Wake
”Very stylish and creative.” - Jackaroo
”Mooom, Allison James made me dizzy!” - Brian LaClair
“Oh no, bit of motion sickness :s” - Tero Hannula

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Basically Capitalism (GM48 Version)

Live a life in the life of Alex Bird, shaping their upbringing, experiences, decisions and lifestyle however you see fit.

This was made in 48 hours for GM48; I hope to expand it massively in the future with a full version, effectively making this a (fairly unbalanced) demo.

Controls: mouse (do everything); Esc (quit game - game autosaves every new year)

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Helvetica, Lost Paradise

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Reviews

“Well, I got to 400% happiness!” - havik
“Millionaire at age 8. Experienced the puberty I wish I had. Billionaire by 18. Died in a tragic but presumably insanely cool stunt. Nice.” - baku
”I love the minimalist style on this and I think it's a really interesting concept.” - Tydecon Games
”the witty writing is a huge plus that makes the time go by smoothly.” - Mimpy
”I've definitely never had a bleeding at school issue before. What a new experience.” - Cavedens

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Death on Two Legs

The year is 2020. Out of nowhere, Earth splits into two, spouts a body and legs, and gains sentience. We've been entered into the Planetary Destruction Tournament, an 8-planet tournament where only the winner gets to survive un-obliterated.

Earth is Death On Two Legs. Prove it.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Helvetica, Lost Paradise

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Reviews

“Review” - Reviewer

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You Win (On One Condition)

Created in around an hour for the 10^2 100 minute game jam.

You win… on one condition.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Allison James (Queen of Clubs, Gossamer Girls)

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Reviews

“very cool game, i loved the 8 bit look you had going there. “ - V.MMXX

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Supermoves 2

13 years after the great Supermoves war of 2007, the invaders are back - bigger, badder, and brillianter. Defend both sides at once with a pair of building-mounted guns​ that can take down even the strongest foes and keep yourself alive as long as possible.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Future Now, Last Paradise

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Reviews

None yet

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If you play this game then your life will be better

A bee collects pollen in sync with hip-hop music. You know how it is.

Find your way back to the queen through a grimy series of tunnels while hip hop surrounds you. Includes hot karaoke action, a buzzing soundtrack, and a Turbo mode alongside Standard.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Tw Cen MT, The Macabre, Comic Sans MS

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Reviews

“Can confirm this game made my life better!” - Eric
”My life IS better after playing this game. Thank you.” - Hannah Farrugia
”You were right, my life certainly was much much better after playing this game!” - Army Armbuster
“I feel like you've made this game to show off your mix tape and I'm not even mad about it!” - Tydecon Games
”The graphics were great and it was very immersive and fun.” - Chris
”The game is hilarious, great work!” - JCx64
”This was WILD!!!” - Renusek
”that Keanu Reeves line was breathtaking” - nyx
”This game is cute and it puts a smile on your face :)” - Naxos
”I would critique the title, but the entire game feels like a meme anyway, so it totally fits.” - Merlo

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Sympathy for the Level

Swing your way up a series of pegs in an atmospheric neon tower, avoiding falling to your fate in the process, in Sympathy for the Level, an immersive, intuitive and addictive game and experience.

Made for GM48 #32.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Allison James

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Reviews

“Everything felt super snappy and polished, and the music was a banger.” - Problematicar
”Looked really polished and music was good” - Tero Hannula
”Great game!” - MondayHopscotch
”One of the most fun games I've ever played in gm48.” - Roalinn
”It good. Except for this part here: [picture of the game having broken]” - Fachewachewa

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Morris Dancing With Death

Avoid wave after wave of thousands of tiny mines being wrought upon you by Death as you jingle your way around the Maypole as Morris.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Allison James

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Reviews

“The music is fun, the theme interpretation a bit loopy ;)” - qst0
“The music is VERY catchy and actually quite soothing, especially those soft bass pulses :D” - WangleLine
”That was funny and a nice interpretation of the theme. Catchy music and nice gameplay... but can I please get my eyes back? xD” - Gojirana
”the punny title is genius” - Eva

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Jasmine Laslo - Switch U On

You've been tasked with a simple but bizarre request from business magnate Rudolf Laslo - help him get his daughter's latest (terrible) song to 1,000,000 plays on his streaming service, Slola. He's so desperate for that, that every other track on the service is currently down.

Reach 1,000,000 plays by any means possible.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Trajan, Helvetica

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Reviews

“Funny and quite different from the norm.” - HayManMarc
”A pretty standard incremental/idle game, but with a funny story.” - var
”I've found the game to be quite entertaining and very well made” - Alice
”there goes an hour of my life.” - Mercerenies

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Rev%lver

It's high noon and your targets are all unarmed - but you're not! Only problem is, you've got a gun with an extremely weird quirk.

It asks you questions.

Rev%lver sees you move through quiet, serene deserts, destroying and stealing from docile robots while conserving as much of your ammunition as possible. Every time you pull the trigger, the gun needs a correct percentage level set - and the only way you can work it out is with each given question or statistic. The further away from the correct setting you are, the more ammo the gun discharges and wastes.

If you run out of ammo, scurry back and your captor will give you a refill... for a fee, of course.

Presented with small amounts of humour, Rev%lver has a 97% chance of being fun!

Created in 48 hours for GM48.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Dan Johnston and Allison James

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Reviews

“Super unique, and very entertaining.” - Baku
”Thanks for giving me a months worth of education” - Loates
”Good job, a bit of an out of the box idea that is nicely done, it was fun!” - havik
“Lmao“ - Kwisarts

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Britskrieg

Queen Elizabeth II is bored of being stuck with the United Kingdom. She has recruited a unique foursome of watertight buddies - The Buddy Squad - to fix that for her. By taking over the world for Blighty.

Daniel Johnston is the Welsh-ish eco-warrior with a thirst for violence - renewable violence. Mark Alexander is the Spanish Scot whose number one priority is to look cool in victory. Allison James is English, scared of loud noises, but is happy to wage war if it means she ends up with a bigger home. And the Irishman Darrell Flood? He just wants to watch the world burn.

Command the Buddy Squad's four armies around a map of the world blitzing capital cities, weakening or recruiting enemies, building British towns everywhere they go, and keeping a steady flow of troops in their midst as they conquer every square.

Britskrieg mixes strategy with idle game, and a sprinkling of education - every sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right (thank you Richard Osman) is represented, as well as their capitals with rough locations and their 2018 populations. And there's also a little bit of patriotism. But only a little bit. Because British patriotism is British pessimism.

Contains no Brexit humour. Breathe a sigh of relief.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Allison James (Glue Gun)

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Reviews

“Looks like a huge game that took a lot of work – impressive!“ - HayManMarc
”Good story, nice art, music is fitting” - Toque
”that was quite a large entry to complete, but it's perfectly possible to complete in a single day.” - Alice
”Brittain taking over the world... meh.” - Baukereg

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Gossamer Girls

Kill spiders. Collect gossamer. Trip balls.

Gossamer Girls sees you, the newest member of the eponymous all-female taskforce, exploring ancient dungeons, untouched by humanity for generations and overrun by clusters of spiders that produce valuable gossamer.

Dungeons are procedurally generated, containing ever increasing quantities of spiders with escalating threat, and connected by falling sections in which you descend through dangerous but rewarding neon tunnels. Start off with a randomly generated character and upgrade her through chests found on floors and powerups found in the falls between, all the while collecting as much gossamer as you can, using some as ammunition to defeat threats.

Also features a dynamic soundtrack that fades tracks in and out for each floor and fall, because I'm an idiot and decided that a time-constrained game jam was the first time to experiment with it.

Created for #LOWREZJAM 2018.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Allison James (Gossamer Girls, Queen of Clubs)

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Reviews

“Great little game that will keep you coming back.” - lazerfalcon
”Really awesome game.” - Jack Oatley
”The game plays really well and satisfying.” - sprvrn
”You have one of the best entries this year.” - br0ken_m1nd

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Soundproof Cell

Live a life in the day of Em - their job, their interactions with their colleagues, a work party in the evening and the pain they feel.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Joel Steudler
Fonts: Allison James

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Reviews

“This game feels like it's in a different league compared to most games in the jam.” - The M
“Great art, great presentation, just overall great.” - johnwo
”This is so deep and takes the "hero" theme to another level.” - McWolke
“This one gave me goosebumps.” - Lemth

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Four Versus The World

Turns out war changes.

In Four Versus The World, each adventure is unique. Travel from city to city with "The Four", the sole survivors of one of many possible catastrophes that took place shortly before the game's events.

Hunt for food, energy, health packs, skill points and car parts to keep yourselves, and your beloved vehicle, on the road.

Search scenery and dungeons and do your best not to die in the face of continuous, sometimes arbitrary dilemmas - each character only has one life; once they're dead, they're dead forever.

Make it to the final destination, the glorious British city of... well, it's different every time, just like everything else.

It's all tongue in cheek and profoundly British. Made in 72 hours for the July 2016 GMC Jam.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Doctor Vox, Nameless Warning
Fonts: Impact

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Reviews

“Awesome. Polished. Lots of content. Perfect.” - Tselmek
“Fun game! Liked the graphics style.” - Coder Joe
”I love the concept of this game and it was super fascinating.” - Misu

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Ink Cipher Free Edition

Decode the cipher in Ink Cipher!

Ink Cipher is a sleek take on the puzzle sometimes known as the "cipher crossword", "codeword" or "codebreaker".

You're presented with a grid filled with words... except all the letters have been replaced by numbers. Each number represents its own letter. Using your knowledge of the English lexicon, fill in the letters where you can recognise words and crack the cipher!

Free edition includes 11 puzzles. Paid edition includes over 100 puzzles and counting.

Game is touch friendly (requires no keyboard input, although it is optional in the free version), intuitive to play for anyone, and contains a help screen on how to play.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Joel Steudler
Fonts: Gotham

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Reviews

I forgot to back the feedback this got from the GMC Jam it was entered into on the old GMC - which has now been eradicated. Whoops.

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Orbit Frenzy

You meet a race of aliens that are the friendliest in the world. They exist to love. There is no war.

One problem. They create Special Custard, a substance which to them is just a nutrient food. But to humanity, it grants extended life and is rich in minerals unseen on Earth.

You are Reginald Waft, a savvy British hipster businessman who's left it all - cheeky fried chicken with the lads, banter for days and even the occasional episode of your nearest soap opera with your mum - to ransack the planet. You might even take the concept of their planet and sell it to some British TV channel as a children's programme.

Go with your array of missiles that grapple onto things to steer, and also somehow collect the abundant Special Custard. Missile those cutesy swines before they sing you a song about learning things. And then get back to the lads back in Britain, drop a couple beers, re-curl your moustache and smash up the local gym.

Orbit Frenzy is the clean version of Telifrenzy, Allison James' (and by proxy, Chequered Ink's) entry into Ludum Dare 33.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: None
Fonts: Buzzsaw AOE

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Reviews

“What a surreal and odd game. My cup of tea. Loved it!” - SinclairStrange
”Many stars to you!!! This is glorious! Great job!!!!” - Ninja Garage
”May be bit hard for non British people to grasp the humour, nevertheless excellent entry !” - sydream
”That was certainly... a unique experience.” - Sunflower

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1 Girl 2 Cups

Wakka wakka, motherlovers.

You're an innocent, dual-uzi-wielding bikini-clad girl trapped in a Japanese burial ground, and the inhabitants aren't having any of it.

Dash around, collecting ammunition for your uzis. Find new and exotic weapons: like the Katana that is made out of purest grade aluminium maybe! Or the flamethrower that is secretly powered by love! Or maybe you're more into the inner workings of the chainsaw, since you're a bit of a carpentry fanatic... or are delusional and think that all the enemies are trees.

Upload your highscore to GameJolt, and have the leaderboard and the flashing display of the global best score permanently remind you how much worse you are than everybody else! And earn GJ trophies if you're into that sort of thing, you filthmongerer.

1 Girl. 2 Cups. 3 of something.

Hm.

1 Girl 2 Cups came 9th in GMC Jam #19.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: DaPlaque - Ultimate
Fonts: Joystix, Pac-Font

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Reviews

“One of the gems in the jam, well done.” - Ghandpivot
”Fun with a variety of weapons and enemies.” - The M
”The weapon choices were really interesting, and the announcement voices were wonderfully done.” - Mercerenies
”Wow this game is really good” - Monstr Gaming
”The game is pretty cool. I mean: who wouldn't want to be a blond chick in a maze blasting enemies?” - rui.rosario
”Interesting and fun to play. I like it.” - Dan Johnston
”10/10 in my book” - Diptoman
”The colour palette fits the retro feeling this game gives, perfected with appropriate music.” - Hiznopellagio

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Dream Extension Finger

Clancy woke up one day to discover that, miraculously, his right index finger could extend and retract to a massive degree. Naturally, he did the only thing he believed was right. He went around poking living things to the point of spontaneous combustion.

Information

System: Windows
Price: Free
Music: Allison James
Fonts: Allison James (This Sucks)

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Reviews

“Neat idea, simple but well made game, I enjoy controlling the sword like finger!” - Jupiter Hadley
“Nice visuals, nice feeling when you kill the enemies, nice music & sounds. Nice game overall!” - SmallPhil
”A good simplistic game with a funny concept.” - megahold
”Great execution and overall experience!” - jsmars

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